The Rosary, Forgiveness and God's Gift of Life.

An Unexpected Message

Philadelphia, Pa

Hello!  My name is Bella and I would like to share a story with you..

On October 11, 2021, I had just returned home from my scheduled eucharistic adoration from 3 to 4 am. and I have a habit of placing the rosary on my arm and forget it's dangling.  I was getting things done by the kitchen sink (I was feeding the kittens) when I heard something fell.  When I looked down, it was the rosary.  When I bent to pick it up, I noticed a very particular shape, the rosary looked like that of a child in the womb holding a cross.  Though this is not the first time I have witnessed certain Holy images appearing on candles...etc, but never an image with the rosary.  My rosary is the Fatima rosary and I grabbed my cell phone and took three pictures of the rosary lying on the floor.  (see image below).



A Phone Call to a Friend
Later that evening, I had to make a return call to a young man in Brooklyn, NY.  He has this gift of searching all the titles of Our Lady and he also manages to secure statues. We were discussing the acquisition of an appropriate Marian statue to be placed in our home chapel which is named in honor of Mary, Ark of the Covenant.  Never having seen any statue to Our Lady as the Ark of the Covenant, I told him any statue of Mary will suffice and I solicited a recommendation.   Then this young man said there is a statue of Mary, Ark of the New Covenant! While on the phone, he texted me the link to the Preborn Jesus Ministry Website and the first image I saw was their logo of a baby in the womb with a cross - Baby Jesus!  I went silent. 
(Preborn Jesus Logo below)

In the meantime, I sent him the image of the rosary on the floor, and he went silent. I know this young man and nothing will make him silent and that's true about me too when it comes to our faith.  I know I can research about the statue myself ,however, I also know God sends us people our way with gifts to aid us in our journey for His Glory and to be in community.  So I asked the young man to do the research and provide me the contact information for Bernadette (Founder) of  Preborn Jesus Ministry in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

A Phone Call to Bernadette, Preborn Jesus Ministry
On October 12, 2021, I called Bernadette Conklin of Preborn Jesus Ministry to inquire about her ministry and the need to purchase a statue for the one year anniversary (December 8, 2021) of   Mary, Ark of the Covenant Chapel in my home.  Bernadette informed me that her ministry was concieved on a First Friday in July 2009, when she was kneeling quietly in the church, making a holy hour with Our Lord when the church bells echoed loudly from the steeple announcing the noon hour.  After the third clang of the bell, she prayed the Angelus and envisioned Preborn Jesus within the womb of His Mother. However, instead of an umbilical cord connecting the Mother and Child, she saw Our Lord encircled by a rosary.  She then was gifted a drawing of her vision by her son James.  I then inquired about purchasing the large statue of Mary, Ark of the New Covenant.  But I first was compelled to share my rosary photo and my family background with Bernadette.

My Family
I want to share with you two wonderful people in my life: my parents, neither of whom finished high school.  My mom was a seamstress.  She was married previously, but due to an accident, her husband died and left her with their five children.  She then remarried and had five more children.  Her second husband—my dad—was a carpenter.  Making ends meet was tough, but they carried on.  They managed to have a store in the market to sell produce for additional income, which would require them to wake up early in the morning.  On one such morning, my mom was preparing to leave when she overheard the barking of dogs. When she opened the door, she noticed a basket.  Inside there lay a baby, a piece of linen, and a dirty bottle with some milk.  She brought the basket with the baby inside, alerting everyone.  After understanding the situation, my dad told my mother that keeping this baby was not an option; they simply had too many kids to feed already. However, my mom won that argument and the baby stayed.  Unfortunately, the baby was hospitalized for its first year in life.  There were many problems with the baby—abscess from the neck, spine infection and severe dehydration—all of which required medical attention. When my mom asked the doctor what could have been the reason of such occurrences, the doctor replied that it was possibly the result of an attempted abortion on the fetus while in utero.
 

I was that baby!

The Truth Hurts
Twelve years later... I am playing with a neighborhood girl. She sneered, “You know, you are not a real child of that family.” I thought she was joking, but as the afternoon went on, I realized she was serious. She dared me to go home and look at my family. And so I did. With each photo, with each different facial feature, I realized that nobody in my family resembled me.  I did not have the courage to confront my parents. I was engulfed with so much sorrow, hurt, and anger that I opted to take my own life.  When I was close to ending it all, it was as if someone whispered in my ear to go to church.  So that afternoon, I found myself at the Immaculate Conception Church.  I changed.  I poured my heart out and turned sorrow into gratitude towards the parents who took me in.  I wanted to be a child they wouldn’t be sorry for, a child who could receive their love.

The Rosary

I went back home and found myself in front of the altar, in our home, on my knees praying to the Blessed Mother Mary.  On the foot of the crucifix was a prayer describing the steps of the rosary.  I picked up a rosary and prayer book and started teaching myself the words. Looking back, I believe the Blessed Mother was guiding me along.  Each rosary, I asked for the truth. One day, I was talking to one of my aunts, exchanging what we knew. She revealed that I was indeed adopted.  It was heartbreaking to hear about the truth, so again I resorted to the Rosary and stayed close to the Blessed Mother. I concentrated on my studies and even considered the convent, but God had other plans. In the end I became a pediatric nurse.  Sixteen years ago (I was thirty years old then),

Meeting My Birth Parents
I met my birth parents for the first and last time in March, 1999.  None us had seen each other since my birth.  At that meeting, I asked for the truth. My birth mother looked me dead in the eyes, saying, “You were not meant to be born. We tried to abort you, but the drugs affected me instead of you." As such, we continued the pregnancy. I was graced with the understanding of pure rejection.

Repect For Life
In the Fall of 2018, two of my friends took me to Our Lady of the Unborn in Czestochowa. While praying, I felt a sudden choking sensation that I had never felt before.  I was having difficulty breathing. I could only attribute that experience to the unborn whose lives were prevented through similar abortion techniques.  Along with other survivors, I live to share the consequences of attempted abortions on the unborn.  I am not severely deformed, although I have retained scars as a result of fighting infection brought on by the abortion drugs. I am proof that we must respect what God creates, that we must respect the voices that we might not hear out loud.  Last December, my birth mother reached out to me.  I asked her to help me pray for the unborn. The statement hurt her too, for she came back and said that they wished she had finished the abortion. Truth hurts, but it does afford freedom—freedom to practice faith and belief in God with fervent prayers. Faith in prayers. Prayers with the use of the Rosary.  A certain passage anchors me with great sincerity. Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.” 

Forgiveness
I have been offering up my mother and father (God Bless his soul) for what they have encountered in their life. God is the only one who knows their hearts and why they did what they did. Through the Rosary, reparation, and offering up those petitions for my mother’s conversion, we try to share forgiveness and help overturn this culture of death.  Since last December, my birth mother contacted me once more and stated that she would come back to the church. The first thing she did, she told me, was to approach a priest for the sacrament of reconciliation. For a child, rejection is the most painful experience.  A mother finds the most pain in regret.

Only with fervent prayer and forgiveness can we see the Love God has for us through his Mercy, for he is the only one who can judge—not I.

All for His Glory!
Bella

The Preborn Jesus Connection:
Preborn Jesus Minsitry is a Pro-Life Apostolate and the first large three foot statue of Mary, Ark of The New Covenant was purchased by Bella a child who survived a failed abortion.